


Tight

by PhaiFan



Category: Alexander (2004)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 14:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhaiFan/pseuds/PhaiFan
Summary: Short and silly. A conversation overheard by some horrified generals standing outside Alexander's tent.





	Tight

**Author's Note:**

> Things are not always what they seem.  
> ***************************************************

"Alexander, I am telling you…it is not going to fit!"

"Yes, it will, Hephaestion! Stop fidgeting and hold still."

*grunt*

"See? I told you it won't go in. It's too tight!"

"Maybe we need more oil."

"You already oiled it twice."

"Can we stretch it out?"

"With what? My fingers?"

"No, you dimtwit. Something stiff."

"We have something stiff, and it won't fit."

"Just push it in as hard as you can. Surely it will go."

"I'll try….Oooww! That hurt. No, it won't. It barely goes in at all."

"Maybe if we try to soften it a little…"

"No. It has to be stiff in order to work. It is just too darned tight to fit."

"Is this too big? Or is that too small?"

"I don't know…both maybe. Now what?"

"Maybe if we put the tip in and push just a little at a time it will eventually go in."

"Sure…and how long do you really want to stand here and do that? It might take a long while. If it works at all."

*snort*

"Well, then, Hephaestion….what do you suggest we do now?"

*sigh*

"Forget the whole thing?"

"I don't want to forget the whole thing. I want to put this…in there."

"Are you trying to kill me, Alexander?"

"Are you giving up on me, Hephaestion?"

"We've been at this forever. Concede defeat will you? It simply WILL NOT fit!"

"Fine. You win."

"Finally!"

*thump*

Hephaestion tossed the new leather scabbard he had been holding across the room.

Alexander slid his well-oiled sword back into its old, worn scabbard. "Guess I didn't really want a new one after all."


End file.
